What Makes Permission Valid in Islam?
Islamic Etiquette of Invitations and Meals: Permission, Consent, and the Prophet's Example
Summary
This lecture from Zadul-Ma'ad (Provisions for the Hereafter) discusses the Prophet Muhammad's etiquette and practices regarding social interactions, particularly around meals and invitations. Sheikh Ali Mashhour explains the concept of permission in Islamic law, distinguishing between explicit and implied permission, and emphasizing that permission obtained through coercion, shame, or reluctance is invalid. He illustrates this with examples from spousal relationships, employer-employee dynamics, and religious conversion, drawing Quranic support for the principle that choices must be genuine and autonomous. The lecture also covers the Prophet's table manners and social conduct, including eating with the right hand, making supplication for hosts after meals, eating with others regardless of social status, and the prohibition of eating with the left hand based on Quranic and Sunnah patterns.
Note: This transcript was generated using YouTube's automatic captioning, with AI-assisted cleanup for readability. It may contain inaccuracies due to background noise, audio quality, or limitations of the transcription software — particularly during Arabic recitation. Listener discretion is advised; please refer to the original video for precise wording.
Be a person's First fiction, whatever is is theirs. The prophet would honor that invitation exactly as the invitation was given to him. Meaning that if he came and there was someone with him that was unexpected by the host, he would ask the host permission for the person to proceed with them. and he would say this individual came with us If you wish to allow him to allow him along with us as a guest Otherwise, he will, he will return. belief. Now, it's important for us to understand something. When it comes to permission There are two types of permission with the of Islam In Dhaka, Edun,.
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And then there is permission which is specific. If a person understands permission then they may act upon that understanding So, for instance, if a person is invited to a a home of one of their close friends or relatives, somebody they know is they're very close with. And they understand that this person would not have a problem if I brought another person with me. Even if they don't know that person. My guest is their guest, right? And this is considered to be permission. I don't have to specifically ask him for permission for that. Because the permission is understood. However, if a person, if a person is uncertain of that permission, would this person have a problem with this or not, then the individual goes back to the default position and that is, you do not have permission until explicitly given. and this permission need and be permission which is given reluctantly Person gives reluctant permission. Or agrees reluctantly. This is not permissible and is not considered permission. What we say for instance to shame someone into something. right? So, I bring someone to another person's house and I say, well, if you want them to leave, they can. You know, basically put them in a situation where they can't really keep face and make a decision that is objective based on what they want. They've now been shamed into a position. So, they're going to say yes simply to say face. This is not considered permission. Even if the person says, yes, I give them permission. It doesn't mean that. They've actually given permission. Anytime a person puts another person in a position where they give reluctant permission because they've been shamed into something then, this is not considered, this is not considered valid permission in the original sense. Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala tells us about this type of permission in the Quran. He tells us and give women that you marry their dowry. Beautifully. and if they are truly enthusiastic about forgiving any portion of that dowry or giving you back any portion of that dowry, then that is their decision and you can have whatever they give you. So, notice here how Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala mentions that. They have to be enthusiastic about that that giving. What is the nature of a husband and wife there, their marriage, right? Their relationship especially at the beginning of marriage when dowry is traditionally given. what is, you know, what is most common, is that a woman generally, Bill heed into the desires of her husband even if she doesn't necessarily agree. Even if she's reluctant. She may faint, agree, agreement, in order to placate her husband. Cater to his desires. So if a man as a husband says to his wife, please, you know, give me a portion of your dowry or forgive me of whatever I owe you of your dowry If she knows that he's going to be upset with her or he's going to be take it to heart or what have you, she may say. Yeah, sure. Even if she is very reluctant and under normal circumstances would not would not have chosen that. This is not something permissible for a person to take under these circumstances. when it comes to an employer with his employee, right? They are using, they have a position that is not objective when it comes to giving choices. So, there's something a kind of a proxy choice or a fake choice that is presented there. An illusion of choice. You could choose this or you could choose this. If you choose A, I'm going to be upset with you but I mean, technically, you can, right? The unspoken ramifications of not catering to your superiors desires. This is not considered to be a choice. person who chooses this has chosen it under a a type of duress, right? And so, this is not permissible. Has meant it, has mentioned this even to the point of, a husband inviting his Christian or Jewish wife to Islam. right? Does Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala tells us in the Quran? There is no duress in choosing one's religion. But if the husband who is in the Quran a figure that is a figure of authority, tells his wife who is a figure of a subordinate Wouldn't you like to become Muslim? It she may accept Islam Simply for the fact that she wishes to please her husband rather than it being an objective choice. Now this obviously doesn't mean that no husband should invite his wife to Islam if she's not Muslim. But Sheikh Allah and others who have mentioned this of the are calling attention to this issue. The issue of a person recognizing his position of authority when offering a choice to his subordinate. a figure of authority offering a choice to your subordinate, it needs to be a real choice. to be a real objective choice that they can autonomously make without the fear of ramifications if offering them a choice is what you choose to do. And when it comes to their rights conceding any part of their rights, then this is dually important. more important because a person may take another's rights without right to do so, without them being happy about it. Without them, with with their extreme reluctancy with a very heavy heart and this is a type of oppression. As the prophet has mentioned. So, it is not considered permission. If you just show up at someone's house with uninvited guests not knowing or pretty sure that they wouldn't be okay with this or it's against the customs of the people. In certain countries or certain communities, that maybe the people's custom, that's fine. But if it's outside of the norm, usually when you invite someone, you invite that person specifically. And if that person is to bring anyone else, they should, ask for explicit permission. If that is the situation, then we need to make sure that we offer a real choice. Not just a an illusion of choice. He says,.
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And another thing that the prophet would do is that he would have discussions while he was eating. He would speak Those around him and not you know, specifically try to avoid speaking. and an instance of this is when he said to his stepson Teaching him how to eat properly basically starts by beginning with the name of Allah and eat from that which is immediately in front of you. laminal man cool, walaminal mangur. holiness,.
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Vain. There are no statements of the prophet regarding this. Rather, there's no problem with a person conveying a salaam to people eating. There's no problem with the person. Speaking to someone who is eating. There's no problem with the person who is eating to speak with someone else. but shaking a person's hand while they're eating. This is not appropriate not appropriate. Persons eating, they may have washed their hands before they begin to eat. Lot of people feel uncomfortable with this. I personally feel uncomfortable with this. Enough to just say assalamu alaikum. And this also takes us into an issue of every time I see any person that I know. Do I need to shake their hand every single time I see them? No. Oh, I mean, there's some people that you see every single day or you see them three, four, five, six, 10 times a day. This it's not necessary to you know, bridge the gap and shake each other's hands vigorously. There's twenty guys standing there. I gotta go in a big circle and shake every single person's hand. This is not necessary. Yes, it's the one that shake your brother's hand. but there is a time when it could be too much and overwhelming enough for a person to say. Assalamu alaikum. It's enough for a person. If there's five, 10 guys standing there to just say assalamu to them as a group. It doesn't mean that it's a bad thing for a person to of the person's hand. Obviously, that's not what I'm saying What I'm saying is when this goes too far and it becomes almost you know, you can't go into the masjid or leave the masjid without shaking. 60 people's hands. This is not particularly necessary. If this is the custom of the people, then, that's fine. But especially when a person is eating, this is an inappropriate time to be shaking one another's hands.
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He says, and another.
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You know, you want something to drink Usually, there's an exchange there of two or three times. That's fine. Again, that is something that can become too cumbersome. However, within reason, this is the of the prophet says and if he would eat at anyone at anyone's behest, if he would honor anyone's invitation he would not leave their home, their domicile, their wherever he was invited to. Until he would make dua for that person upon completing that meal.
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Hola.
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The home of of and they ate there to their fill. The prophet said upon their meal's conclusion, Vick Lee reciprocate your brother or if you will compensate your brother He said, and how do we compensate him? What is considered compensation for a meal? a person goes to a man's home and eats from his dish and drinks from his drink then a person is to and a person is to make dua for that person and that is what is meant by compensation.
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And he would not ever feel he would not ever feel any kind of way You sit and eat with any individual. Whether this person is young or old or this person is a free man or a slave or this person was rich or poor. The prophet would eat with anyone. He Sallallahu Would invite anyone And he would also honour the invitation of anyone. Likewise, the prophet commanded that one eat with his right hand. He prohibited that a person eats with his left hand and he would say, indeed a Shaitan does eat with his left hand and he does drink with his left hand as well. In the.
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Eat or drink with his left hand. This is impermissible He says and that is the correct opinion. Some opinions of the scholars is that it is merely disliked. discouraged but the correct opinion is that it is haram. because if we look at the patterns in the Quran and then the We never see a pattern where a Shaitan does something and it's considered to merely be discouraged. Anytime we are informed of something as Shaitan does in the Quran, in the sunnah, It articulates that this is haram. and an additional portion of prohibition is that a Shaitan does it. So, it's haram and also Shaitan does it. This is the pattern that we see in the Quran and in the Sunnah. But when we do not have anything clearly saying this is haram. But we do have the prophet saying does this. This articulates what? Prohibition. According to the patterns of the Quran and Sunnah. In a way that Allah speaks, in the way that the prophet speaks. The way that the companions understand this. Right? Likewise, a group of companions complained to the prophet that they do not feel satisfied after eating. No matter how much they eat, they do not feel satisfied. that the prophet commanded them to eat together And to not eat separately. And that they mention Allah's name over their food when they go to eat. That they say bismillah. Likewise, another narration.