What the Prophet taught about honoring the dead
Islamic Etiquette for the Ill, Dying, and Deceased: Lessons from Zadul-Ma'ad Part 40
Summary
This lecture is part 40 of a series on Zadul-Ma'ad (Provisions for the Hereafter) by Ibn al-Qayyim, a comprehensive work covering all aspects of the Prophet Muhammad's life and teachings. Sh. Ali Mashhour discusses the final chapters of the book, focusing on how the Prophet handled visiting the ill, preparing the dying for death, and the Islamic protocols surrounding funeral rites, burial, and grave visitation. The lecture emphasizes that the Muslim's connection to the deceased continues beyond death through maintaining ties with their families and visiting their graves, using the example of an obscure woman who cleaned the mosque and the Prophet's commitment to praying over her grave.
Sh. Ali Mashhour provides detailed guidance on Islamic etiquette during times of illness and death, including the appropriate manner and timing of visiting the ill, encouraging them to recite La ilaha illallah before death, and avoiding pre-Islamic practices like wailing and hiring professional mourners. He explains that while sadness during bereavement is natural and permissible, Muslims must express grief within the framework of Islamic discipline and patience, accepting Allah's will with words like 'Alhamdulillah' (all praise be to Allah) and 'Inna lillahi wa inna ilayhi raji'un' (Indeed we belong to Allah and to Him we will return).
The lecture stresses the importance of maintaining dignity and respect at times of death, avoiding inappropriate behavior at funerals and gravesites, and understanding that accepting Allah's decree—even when we don't comprehend His wisdom—is fundamental to Islamic faith. Sh. Ali Mashhour discusses how patience and acceptance during calamity, including the loss of children and other tragic circumstances, reflect true Islamic teaching and trust in Allah's perfect timing.
Note: This transcript was generated using YouTube's automatic captioning, with AI-assisted cleanup for readability. It may contain inaccuracies due to background noise, audio quality, or limitations of the transcription software — particularly during Arabic recitation. Listener discretion is advised; please refer to the original video for precise wording.
I'd to thank everybody this evening for joining us on our journey through a bed which literally translates to the provisions taken and prepared for the great appointment meaning the day of resurrection these provisions are taken from the ways and traditions and sunan of the best of mankind.
[Arabic recitation]
So what is the nature of this book this book was authored by islam sudden even who is more formally known as ibn al-qaeda one of the great students of ibn taymiyyah and he is one of the major teachers of ibn kathir the mufester what is this book about well ibn al-qayyim when he gave this name to this book he puts a particular image in our minds and that is that look all of us are on a journey to allah every one of us is on that journey whether he likes it or not whether he tries to remain stagnant in his life or he goes forward and advances or even if he tries to retreat if you are a human being you are on a journey a perpetual journey to allah subhanahu.
[Arabic recitation]
And so this journey a person needs to take provisions meaning a person needs to prepare himself for this journey and the ultimate journey is when we transition from this life into the hereafter that is the ultimate journey and so just any journey any vacation any trip that we take we have to prepare ourselves we have to have you know in more modern times we usually carry checks or cards but we also need food and we need to make sure our vehicle is up to par and so on and so forth this is called taking provisions and allah subhanahu wa'ta'ala said about taking provisions and preparing oneself for the journey he said take provisions for your journey and the best of provisions is the provision of piety of dutifulness of righteousness that is the best provision that you can take for yourself on your journey to allah subhanahu wa and so what is the topic of this book the topic of this book is the entire sunnah of the prophet sallallahu alaihi wasallam everything that is relevant to know about him goes into how the prophet salallahu alaihi wasallam spoke how he slept the positions he sat in how he would speak how he would stand how he would walk who were his closest companions who were his wives what is his biography how did he used to administer medicine right so the whole fourth volume of is regarding the medicine of the prophet sallallahu alaihi wasallam how he would judge between people how he would make salah how he would make hajj how he would fast etc etc this book is a remarkable book because it almost encompassed every single aspect of the prophet sallallahu alaihi wasallam's life before islam and after islam that is quite a feat and that can only be done by a scholar who has absolutely become an ocean a fountain of knowledge and that is what is even more startling about this book is that ibn kayum wrote this book in five volumes and he wrote it entirely from memory because he was on his way to hajj when he wrote it and he re referenced in this book zadil more than 200 other books verbatim meaning word for word from memory and it became one of the the most influential books in the history of islam and it remains one of the most integral references in the islamic library i cannot emphasize enough the importance of this book zadil ma'at right so where we were in this book is we were speaking about how the prophet sallallahu alaihi wasallam would visit the ill how he would visit the sick and ibn then goes on and kind of bleeds that into the issue of preparation for death and how he would go about preparing a person for death while he is on his deathbed all the way until he is placed in his grave so we are going to go through now the way that he would pray salah till geneza we would go through how he would make the grave and prepare the grave we are going to be discussing how the prophet sallallahu alaihi wasallam prepared the body for burial and what he would do immediately as a person was fading away into the hereafter and what he would do after the person had passed away all the way until visiting the graves because it doesn't end with a person's death right it doesn't end with a person just being put in his grave it doesn't end there we still have responsibilities to our towards our brothers just because our brother is passed away doesn't mean he's forgotten no brother is left forgotten no one not even someone that is us obscure and i'll give you an example of this from the sunnah in sahih al-bukhari it's narrated that one woman that used to sweep and clean the masjid she that's what all she did as a matter of fact her name is not exactly known this is how obscure she was amongst the companions she would come in at night or in the morning before everybody was there and clean the masjid up whatever people had left of course the masjid of the prophet sallallahu alaihi wasallam its doors were always open there were only doors but there were no no actual doors that would lock and so it was open perpetually day and night so animals used to go in there dogs would go inside snakes would go inside and she would go in there and clean up after these animals and after the people as well and so she fell ill and passed away and the companions whoever knew her a small following prepared her body gave her her last islamic rights and buried her well after a while the prophet salallahu alaihi wasallam noticed that he didn't see her anymore so he asked about her what happened to her and he was told she passed away and we buried her and the prophet sallallahu alaihi wasallam became a little bit annoyed by this and he said why didn't you tell me about this of course they thought you know this is the prophet sallallahu alaihi wasallam he's busy with the armies and he's busy with the companions and teaching and being a husband and being a father and being a prophet and being so he is you know he's busy and so they didn't want to disturb him with such an obscure death right not every single death he would attend the funeral so he said why didn't you tell me that then he said take me to her grave and so the companions led the prophet sallallahu alaihi wasallam to the place where she had been buried to her grave and the prophet sallallahu alaihi wasallam prayed over the grave right and this was the first and last time he ever prayed solatil geneza over a grave never before had he done that and never never after had he done it right and then he turned to the companions and he said the graves of these individuals meaning the people buried in this cemetery are muslim they are shrouded in darkness and my prayer upon them enlightens that grave and illuminates it upon its people and so he showed great importance to this woman who was obscure in the grand scheme of things but not obscure to allah and not obscure to the messenger of allah sallallahu alaihi now it doesn't end there even even after we've prayed even after we bury a person there's still visitation of the grave the prophet salallahu would often visit the graves of al-baqir right which is the graveyard on the outskirts of medina which the majority of the companions are buried in likewise he would go out to where the martyrs of that battle were buried and he would pray solatill janaza there and he would also visit those those graves and so it doesn't end with that also the family members of the deceased the prophet sallallahu alaihi wasallam would keep in contact with them even the friends of the deceased he would keep in contact with them khadijah his wife his late wife radhiallahuanha his first and the one whom most of his children are from way after her death all the way in medina whenever he would slaughter an animal he would designate a portion of that animal to be sent to khadija's friends right why because this is part of his dutifulness and likewise a person whose father passes away or whose mother passes away it is not just enough to visit her grave or his but also to continue to maintain contact with the deceased's close friends and relatives this is all part of so it never ends we're always connected believers the believers do not cease their connection with death death is not the end of their connection death is not the end of their dutifulness to to one another this is an important concept that we have to understand and we have to take to heart so this chapter that we are currently speaking of and delving into this chapter is regarding these concepts and so we will read along with what ibm rahimahullah and we will start to understand portions of the sunnah of the prophet sallallahu alaihi wasallam with regards to these issues he says the first thing is that when a person would fall ill a muslim would fall ill the prophet sallallahu alaihi wasallam would consistently visit the person we mention visiting someone who is ill this visitation its appropriate time and place depends on the time and place so in our current culture it's probably not it's probably not appropriate to visit someone at three o'clock in the morning in his home right it's appropriate to visit during daylight hours or early evening for instance likewise it may be appropriate to sp spend a long time if you go to visit someone who's ill and you see that they desire that you spend a lot of time then what's appropriate is for you to and to stay there with them for as long as is appropriate sometimes it's only appropriate to visit for a few minutes right depending on the situation depending on what kind of familial situation this person is having when a person goes to visit the ill they should remind the person of the hereafter they should remind the person that if they have not completed their will to complete their will also they should remind the person to repent sincerely and earnestly to allah and the prophet sallallahu alaihi wasallam commanded that when a person goes to visit someone on his deathbed that he encouraged the person to say la illah encourage those dying amongst you to say and if a person's last words of this world are lo they will enter paradise as the prophet sallallahu alaihi wasallam and this is part of what allah subhanahu wa ta'ala does for a person while he is in sakhara till mouth in surat ibrahim allah subhanahu said youth allah.
[Silence]
Foreign a person should encourage that a person's final words are and the prophet sallallahu alaihi wasallam promised that if a person's final words of this world are he is guaranteed paradise the prophet sallallahu alaihi wasallam further prohibited that we engage in the traditions of the nations of disbelief and that we engage in the traditions of the people of polytheism and the people of un-islamic rituals of these traditions is whaling what is called wailing right and in some cultures this is considered a must because if a person dies and nobody wails over his death this person is considered lowly in society and so for this reason they would even hire whalers right that would you can still do it till today and you can hire people to follow a geneza and wail and weep and cry and rip their clothes apart and rip their hair out and all these things this is all of the ways of the people of ignorance and the nations of disbelief who do not believe in allah subhanahu wa'ta'ala they do not believe in allah subhanahu.
[Arabic recitation]
For the patient they do not believe in allah subhanahu wa'ta'ala's promise b and they do not believe in allah subhanahu wa'ta'ala's commandment was seek aid through your hardships through prayer and patience indeed allah is always with those who are patient they do not believe in these concepts and so they do things such as raising their voices in wailing they do things called a nadib which is common amongst our people in in philistine and in the arab world you will see this a lot a person will passed away a person will pass away and they the bereaved whether it be the mother or the wife or the usually women sometimes men they will start to do what is called a nedib a nedib is calling out to the deceased why did you leave us how could you leave us this.
[Silence]
Is.
[Silence]
It doesn't mean that if you do not wail it doesn't mean that you cannot be sad sadness is a natural occurrence when somebody passes away when you see calamity when you see hardship sadness is almost inevitable and this is not something that is prohibited as a matter of fact when the prophet sallallahu alaihi wasallam's son passed away ibrahim he said in the narration in as our eyes are flooded with tears our hearts are filled with sadness yet we will not say except that which will please the lord right and so a person may cry and a person may be sad and a person may be bereaved a person may be even beside himself with grief but a person will always experience these hard emotions through the lens of islamic teaching and discipline that we hold ourselves to a higher standard we understand that death that bereavement that loss that hardship that calamity that crisis ultimately is from and by the will of allah subhanahu wa'ta'ala and so the least that we are are as muslims is patient we bear our tests with patience forbearance hope and we bear our tests with faith this is a very important point that the prophet sallallahu alaihi wasallam taught his followers also the prophet sallallahu alaihi wasallam mentioned that when a person is in the presence of death he should be in a state of he should be in a state of calmness and tranquility he said it is of the sunnah and the tradition of the prophet sallallahu alaihi wasallam that when one is in the presence of death he is in a state of tranquility and calmness there's this is not an appropriate time for joking this is not an appropriate time for salutations sometimes you go to the graveyard you go to a person's death you go to a person's wake even worse you go to bathe the body and you find people cackling joking laughing speaking loud being rude speaking about things that have nothing to do with the current issue speaking about their own lives this is something which is abhorrent right this is something which is undignified death is owed respect and the deceased is owed respect and the family of the deceased are owed respect there are some times when people are around death enough their hearts become hard and they fail to realize the seriousness of death.
[Silence]
On after a person passes away there is a mentality and a statement that we say that mentality that attitude that belief and that statement that we put that belief into words by is along the lines of alhamdulillah in that a person say all praises to allah even during this calamity all praise is due to allah subhanahu and that a person do what is called al-istir jaa what is that a person say inna lillah rajyan to allah we belong and to he we are returning also a person's heart should should be filled with patience and should be filled with pleasure or i should say acceptance is a more appropriate word a person's heart should be filled with acceptance of what allah subhanahu wa'ta'ala has has willed occur to this person it's something that is difficult death it is a major calamity even allah subhanahu wa ta'ala referred to it as a major calamity but we are we are accepting and this is important for us to understand we don't always understand the will of allah subhanahu wa'ta'ala he wills for things to happen they seem untimely the things that he wills to happen seem helter skelter and disorienting some of the things that he wills seem to be out of place yet a person must always trust in the timing of allah subhanahu.
[Arabic recitation]
That whatever happens at this particular time was the exact perfect time for it to happen because it is of the will of allah subhanahu wa'ta'ala this doesn't mean that we will always understand the will of allah actually quite the contrary most of the time we do not understand the will of allah subhanahu most of the time when we look at tragedy if you go walk through the cancer ward at a hospital children's cancer ward or you go walking through war-torn villages where children are killed mothers are bereaved husbands go out and never return right you see war-torn areas you see famine you see natural disasters that claim the lives and property of innumerable people we don't always understand why these things happen as a matter of fact most of the time we don't know why they happen and we may never know why they happen but we don't need to because we know who is the one behind these things and that is allah subhanahu wa ta'ala and so it is enough for the believer to say this is of the decree and will of allah and what he has willed he has done i don't have to know why and even if i were told why most of the time we would not understand because we are far we are short-sighted ignorant human so it's important for us in the face of adversity to trust in allah subhanahu in times of hardship we exhibit patience it doesn't mean that it is easy and it doesn't mean that it's something that we desire or are happy with but it does mean that it is something we refer back to allah women.
[Silence]
Another of the aspects of the prophet sallallahu alaihi wasallam sunnah with regards to the deceased the geneza the body that is to be prepared he says is.
[Silence]
That when a person pass away he would hasten in preparing the body for burial what do we mean by hastening to prepare the body for burial hastening to prepare the body for burial means as soon as the person has passed away in our current time sometimes there's paperwork in a hospital if a person passes away in a hospital setting the body may need to be released but as soon as these formalities are out of the way a person should hasten to prepare the body what we mean by preparation of the body is to bathe the body to clean the body to put perfume and tip on the body and also to shroud the body most preferably in white shrouds the sunnah of the prophet salallahu alaihi wasallam is for the body to be shrouded in three separate shrouds and it is also preferable that one of those shrouds have pinstripes on them the prophet salallahu alaihi wasallam was buried and he was shrouded in three shrouds of whites one of which contain pinstripes this is preferable it doesn't have to be let's say the only shroud that we have is brown or green or blue or or black anything will suffice as a shroud but white is the most preferable color for the shroud of the deceased.
[Silence]
After the body is properly prepared it would be brought to the prophet sallallahu alaihi wasallam would then proceed to pray over the body when we say pray we are speaking about the prayer of geneza the funeral prayer which is a very specific prayer and we will discuss its minutia in a following in a following time in sha allah now notice from the moment the person fell ill we're visiting the person we're with the person when the person is dying we're with the person as he dies we're encouraging him we're giving him hope we're reciting quran we're reminding him of allah subhanahu wa ta'ala's mercy this is the most important thing you do not want to make a person on his deathbed feel hopeless this is a great crime with allah subhanahu.
[Silence]
[Arabic recitation]