When Tears Don't Break Your Patience
The Hadith of the Woman at the Grave: Understanding True Patience in Islam
Summary
This lecture discusses a hadith from Sahih Bukhari and Sahih Muslim about the Prophet Muhammad encountering a woman crying at her child's grave. The scholar explains the concept of patience (sabr) in Islam, distinguishing between emotional tears (which do not negate patience) and wailing or screaming (which do). The woman initially does not recognize the Prophet and rebukes him for his advice to be patient. The scholar explains why the Prophet chose not to continue teaching at that moment due to her emotional state, and only provided guidance later when she returned to his home. The lecture concludes with the Prophet's teaching that true patience manifests at the first moment of hardship.
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Continuing.
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In the chapter of patience of authored We have a narration here on the authority of an Malik. An Malik Abu passed away in the year 92 or so after Hijra. Spiral forch.
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Here we have a narration on the authority of an narration has it's very concise as you've heard the entirety of it in Arabic. However, its meanings are immense and its lessons are numerous. And tells us that the prophet sallall.aii wasallam once passed by a woman that was crying at a grave. And Sah Muslim the detail is added that she was crying at the grave of a child that had passed away of hers. And so the prophet sallall.aii wasallam said to her now when we say crying it wasn't just tears. We know this how because the prophet sallallah.aii wasallam shed tears over his grandchildren that passed away. He shed tears over his own children that passed away. Tears do not in any way interfere or they do not in any way necessitate that a person is not being patient. When the prophet sallallah.aii Wasallam's son Ibraim passed away. He said he said indeed the eye does shed its tears and the heart is sad. However, we do not say anything that that we only say what pleases the lord subhanahu wa ta'ala. Now notice here the statement we only say. We only say saying here is not just verbally with the tongue. But saying in the Quran and Sunnah is the heart and the tongue to say you say with your heart. The heart has sayings. Fear of Allah subhanahu wa'ta'ala. Hope in Allah. Love of Allah. These are sayings of the heart are referred to as actions of the heart. And so shedding a tear, shedding tears, this does not negate a person's patience, legislative patience. It doesn't mean that the person is not being patient. So here when says he w he passed by a woman who was crying at the grave of a child of hers. This does not mean that she was just shedding tears. This means that she was doing other things that do negate a person's patience like perhaps screaming or wailing or doing these things that do negate a person's patience. And so the prophet sallallah.aii wasallam saw this and he spoke out. He said, he said, "Obey Allah, fear Allah, and be patient." And so she said to him, "Leave me alone, for you have not been afflicted with what I have been afflicted with." Now, at this point, she didn't know that she was speaking to the prophet sallall.aii alaihi wasallam. How could she not know who the prophet is? Yes. Entire tribes entered into Islam and not every single individual person had come to meet him. Sallallah.aii wasallam. this is very common when the prophet sallall.aii Wasam went for Hajj his first and final time he went for Hajj in the ninth year after Hijra. Alazi the Muhamad Abu Z Abuazi they mentioned that they were contemporaries of Im Ahmed they mentioned that about a 100,000 people were with him during that Hajj did he meet every single individual amongst them of course not he didn't meet every one of them they didn't all know him by faith Right? Perhaps they had even seen him or come to the masid. The masid is big and they perhaps couldn't see all the way in front. Not everyone got the opportunity to intimately meet the prophet sallall.aii wasallam. So here she assumes she's speaking to a regular person from Medina who has told her to be patient and she says to him, "Leave me alone. You don't know what it's like what I'm going through. You don't have this problem. Well, the prophet sallall.aii wasallam had that exact problem seven times in his life. Wasam of his eight children. Seven of them died in his lifetime. And before he passed away, he was informed that his last and final and most beloved child would be the first of his companions to pass away after him 6 months after his death. And so the prophet sallall.aii wasallam saw that she was inconsolable. Inconsolable. And so he left her be. He let her be. He didn't continue the conversation or he didn't continue. This is not a moment to teach. This is not a teaching moment. Why is it not a teaching moment? Because the person he is speaking to is emotionally charged. And you cannot speak knowledge to emotion. Knowledge is spoken to intellect. when a person is able to comprehend. When a person is able to, had he continued with his guidance of her, maybe she would have said even worse things out of emotion. And so he's speaking to emotion here. It's for instance, if you were to imagine a group of people that are protesting and they are enraged and angry and jumping on cars and burning things. If himself came to speak to them at that moment, they would not listen. Why? Because this is emotion. These people have been their minds right now are being hijacked by emotion. And so he left Sallallah.aii wasallam. Afterwards those who were around they said to her that was the prophet sallall.aii wasallam. You just spoke to the one the man who just said this to you and you spoke to him in that way. That was the prophet. And so obviously immediately she you know backtracked and and went out looking for him to try to correct her mistake to apologize. And so she went looking for his home where he would be. And when she got there she found that he didn't have She didn't find any guards at his door. This is strange. Why is it strange? Because you've got a man that is feared by the Romans and Persians. A man who is the most influential human being with an incredible amount of power but also an incredible amount of enemies. Yet he doesn't have any guards. Does this mean that we should never have guards? No. It is an issue of itchy head. If there's a need for it, then yes, we'll have guards. If not, there were other instances where the prophet did have guards sai wasam. He would have guards through the entirety of every single night on shifts in Medina saiam until the verse in was revealed. Allah will protect you from the assault from being murdered by others. And so after that he dismissed his guards saiam this is specific to him. He is he is specified to have had this and so she entered and and said I didn't know you when I said what I said. The prophet sallallah.aii alaihi wasallam said to her now comes the lesson now the t the teaching the knowledge why because now he's speaking to intellect he's not speaking to blind emotion and so he said he said patience truly is at the first at at the first appearance or at the first startle of hardship. When the hardship first comes, that moment, that is when patience truly is. And we will expound upon this statement tomorrow, inshallah, because it warrants much commentary. This narration has been collected by both Bkari and Muslim subhanahu and.