Islamic Etiquette: Privacy and Dignity in Daily Life
Etiquettes of Relieving Oneself (Adab al-Khala) from Al-Wajeez: Islamic Teachings on Modesty and Dignity
Summary
This lecture from the Muslim Community Center of Tucson continues the study of Al-Wajeez, focusing on the chapter of Adab al-Khala (etiquettes of relieving oneself). The instructor discusses Islamic teachings on maintaining personal dignity and privacy during intimate bodily functions, including the recommended du'a before entering and after leaving the restroom, entering with the left foot and exiting with the right, and the importance of ensuring complete concealment of one's body. The lecture emphasizes that it is obligatory to conceal one's private parts and recommended to conceal one's entire body, citing the example of the Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him) who would choose secluded places for this purpose.
The instructor contrasts Islamic teachings on modesty and dignity with modern Western cultural practices, particularly regarding married couples and their behavior toward each other. He emphasizes that maintaining privacy and dignity in bodily functions—even within marriage—is essential for preserving mutual respect and the relationship. The lecture stresses that discretion and modesty are fundamental Islamic virtues that protect both men's and women's dignity, with special emphasis on women's need to maintain their attractiveness and modesty in their husbands' eyes by not exposing themselves to vulgar behaviors or appearances.
Note: This transcript was generated using YouTube's automatic captioning, with AI-assisted cleanup for readability. It may contain inaccuracies due to background noise, audio quality, or limitations of the transcription software — particularly during Arabic recitation. Listener discretion is advised; please refer to the original video for precise wording.
Continuing in Al-Wajeez, and we have reached the chapter of Adab al-Khala, the etiquettes of relieving oneself. We've mentioned what the author has told us this far, and that is that it is preferable, it is encouraged that before a person enters the which would be in our case the restroom or the place where the person is going to relieve himself, is to say Bismillah, Allahumma inni audhu bika min al-khubthi wal-khabaith aw al-khubthi wal-khabaith. And that when a person leaves, they are to say Ghufraanak. And in this process, a person is to enter with the left foot and leave with the right foot.
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To relieve himself it is preferable that the person choose a place either distant enough or concealing enough that his his entire body is no longer observable. This is part of the perfection of the Muslim's character and the Muslim's haba and the Muslim's and that is that a person has dignity. And to perfect the Muslim's dignity it is obligatory that when a person relieves himself his private parts are concealed from the eyes of onlookers at all times. And it is preferred that a person choose a place where even his body is not observable. Why? What's the point of Well, just the image of a person's body, the silhouette, the outline of a person relieving himself is something which is disliked by Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala. They should be in a position where even their even their body is concealed and not even their posture can be observed. And this goes on into modern times. Right? Is it permissible to use a urinal? A urinal? No. As long as a person doesn't you know, get get himself as long as a person doesn't have the urine come back on them and and and soil a person's clothing or a person's body, sure. But is that mus- is that makruh? Disliked? Yes. Why? Because the person's body is observable while he is relieving himself. And the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam, he would always choose a place where even his body is hidden from the eyes of onlookers when he is relieving.
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Jabir radiyallahu anhu, and here he cites a narration, he says, "We went with the Messenger of Allah sallallahu alayhi wa sallam on a journey, and the Messenger of Allah sallallahu alayhi wa sallam's habit was that he would not go to relieve himself until he would find a place that would conceal the entirety of his body as he was relieving himself." All of his body is concealed from the eyes of onlookers. Now, is this in every single instance that the Prophet Sallallahu alayhi wasallam relieved himself? No. There are a handful of incidents where some of the companions radiya'llahu 'anhu relate to us the Prophet Sallallahu alayhi wasallam's posture while he was relieving himself. They could only know this by seeing it. But, this was either to teach or because there was no place in the immediate vicinity that would that would, you know, that would provide him with that total concealment, right? Again, this is part of the high levels of dignity that the hu- that that the Muslim is taught by the Prophet Sallallahu alayhi wasallam. You know, you notice in in in modern culture, if you want to call it culture, modern debauchery, you notice that it's almost casual, normal for husbands and wives to be using the restroom in front of each other and breaking wind in front of each other and belching in front of each other and right? this is less so in the Arab culture for wives in front of their husbands. This is largely a cultural thing in America and in the West. This is totally normal. And a husband in front of his wife that he would pass gas in front of his wife, that he would you know, use the bathroom in front of her, that he would do things this. Absolutely the opposite of what the prophet salallahu alayhi wasallam was doing. And then the the ideas well this is who I am, this is me. And my husband or my wife needs to love me for who I am. What a silly ridiculous statement. What does that mean, who I am? You don't have any privacy? You don't have anything you're ashamed of? You don't have anything that makes you shy? Nothing? Who I am? Not everybody needs to be watching who you are, right? Some things need to be hidden. Discretion. The better part of valor, discretion the better part of dignity. A person is is dignified. Be married for 20 years, 30 years, 40 years. The companions radi allahu anhu, the prophet salallahu alayhi wasallam, none of their wives have ever seen them pass gas in front of them. Never seen them relieve themselves in front of them. Things that. Dignity, right? This maintains that level of dignity and it becomes twice fold for the wife in front of her husband. We to say that they're the same, they're not the same. A woman's dignity is and attractiveness is far more fragile. Especially in front of her husband, especially in front of that she must protect her modesty, protect her and never be associated in her husband's mind with vulgarity, with foul smells, with laziness, with things that, right? This is incredibly important in order to maintain that constant level of dignity that is between the husband and the wife and that level of respect that is between the husband and the wife. There are things that absolutely no human being should ever see of you. Relieving yourself, exposing yourself, you know, certain thoughts, certain behaviors, certain certain actions. These are things that the prophet Sallallahu alaihi wasallam teaches us of how to perfect our dignity and for men al-haybah that a man has a strong presence, not an almost teetering on intimidating presence, a presence that demands respect, right? This is very important. This is something that the prophet Sallallahu alaihi wasallam taught the companions radiyallahu anhu.
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Alhamdulillah rabbil alameen.