Why the Prophet Always Said 'Don't Get Angry'
Managing Anger: Understanding the Hadith of Patient Self-Control
Summary
This lecture discusses the 48th narration from the Chapter of Patience, featuring a hadith in which a man asks the Prophet Muhammad for advice, and the Prophet repeatedly responds with 'Do not become angry.' The speaker explains that while emotions like anger are natural human responses beyond direct control, the narration teaches two practical meanings: first, to avoid situations, people, or environments known to trigger anger; and second, to exercise self-control when anger does occur. The lecture emphasizes that anger itself is not shameful—even the Prophets experienced anger—but rather how one manages anger is what matters. The speaker also stresses the importance of seeking Islamic knowledge through qualified scholars rather than randomly studying sources, comparing this to the necessity of professional guidance in medicine.
Note: This transcript was generated using YouTube's automatic captioning, with AI-assisted cleanup for readability. It may contain inaccuracies due to background noise, audio quality, or limitations of the transcription software — particularly during Arabic recitation. Listener discretion is advised; please refer to the original video for precise wording.
Alhamdulillah. Continuing in the chapter of patience of authored by the 48th narration, the narration of in which he narrates saying.
[Silence]
Bkari. Abu narrates that a man said to the prophet Sam. Advise me. This is a question that's repeated often by the companions. We have a number of narrations in which people come to the prophet sallall.aii wasallam asking for advice. However, the advice is always different. The question is the same but the advice is always different. Why is that? Because the person asking the question is different. And the prophet sallall.aii alaihi wasallam is giving that person what they are most in need of in order to secure their success. A doctor or a scholar that gives the same answer to everyone is a doctor that gives the same prescription to everyone. This religion is medicine and this medicine is practiced by professionals by scholars of Islam and they are the ones that give us direction in this sea this literal ocean of knowledge. this ocean of knowledge that is the Quran and Sunnah. They are the ones that have sailed those seas for many years. They know them. And so when they give us directions, we have to take their directions. One of the most dangerous things is for a person to just jump head headlong into any random book that he finds, any random narration that he finds, any random subject or topic that he finds. This is not how knowledge is sought. And this is very dangerous. Just if a person were to get the keys to the pharmacy and walk into the pharmacy and start pulling off of the shelf random medicines, whatever looks good, whatever has a nice box or this one has a nice picture on it or I the color scheme of this bottle and just starts swallowing pills. Person will most likely poison himself.
[Arabic recitation]
He tells us that ignorance is a deadly illness and its cure is found in two things. Two things together when they come together. This is where we get the cure to the illness that is ignorance. A statement, a a verse, a narration of the prophet sallall.aii wasallam, a verse of the Quran. That's only one part of it. What is the other part of it? He tells us the other part of it is and the doctor that gives this prescription is the strong cultivating scholar. This is who gives it. We don't just jump into the pharmacy. There's a reason we have laws that stop people from doing that. Medicine is only medicine for the right sickness, right? And so this is why the scholars of Islam even with their students, you don't just start with Bkari, pick up Bkari. Well, everything in it is authentic. This is the best book, you know, and the scholars all agree on this. just pick it up and start reading in any old place and flip through its pages you're flipping through a magazine. That's not how knowledge works. And that is not the way that a person obtains knowledge. you must go to and go through and by the advice and direction of the scholars of Islam. He says that a man came and asked the prophet sallall.aii advise me and he said do not become angry. I think every one of us here has heard this narration before. Do not become angry. So the man repeated himself. What else? And asking for more. And at each time he would ask, he would repeat, do not become angry. Here's a question. How is it possible to not become angry? How is it? That's that's like saying don't become afraid ever. Don't ever get scared. That's not something that I'm in control of. That's a natural response that people have. Some people are more scared than others. You can try to learn some kind of you know courage but the human being will always get scared of something just the human being will always get upset or angry or the human being will always feel comfortable at something or feel uncomfortable with something or one thing or dislike another. And so when the prophet sallallah.aii wasallam says do not become angry. The scholars tell us that this statement.
[Silence]
Love, dislike, anger, happiness. These are things that the human being is not in direct control of. As said that the prophet Sam would be just in distribution amongst his wives and then would make the dua, "Oh Allah, this is what I am able to do. So do not hold me to account for what I am unable to do." meaning be equal in his love for each and every one of his life his wives. He loves some of them more than others. This is natural. He loves some of his companions more than others. This is the nature of the human being. It's not something that you or I are in direct control of, but we are in indirect control of. And that's what the narration is speaking about. for.
[Silence]
He says the scholars tell us that this narration holds two meanings. Number one, do not become angry. Meaning, do not do anything or be in a situation that will make you angry. So, as we said, we're not in direct control of what makes us angry, but we are in indirect control. Indirect control meaning I know a particular topic or a particular person or a particular situation or a particular environment. These are things that will make me angry and I know that it usually ends in anger. Therefore I am to avoid these these things.
[Silence]
The second meaning is that if anger does happen that you control yourself while you are angry that you control yourself. Becoming angry is not shameful unfortunately because we have learned the way the argument of the hypoc of the hypocrites. We've learned to pick at each other. If we see someone gets upset, we say, "Oh, oh, don't get upset. Why are you upset?" That is not something that any of us is immune from. And that in itself is not shameful. The prophets, the messengers, the messenger MS, the messenger Ibraim,.
[Arabic recitation]
All become angry because they are human beings and a human being has been given many traits and one of those traits is anger. If you met someone that never became angry for any reason, any reason, nothing made him angry. Someone would , you know, transgress against his wife, his daughters, his mother, wouldn't make him upset, wouldn't make him angry. Would that be a person that we would praise? Is that a praiseworthy trait? Of course not. As a matter of fact, there are instances where not becoming angry can be considered a sin. For instance, at Die when a person has no jealousy, doesn't become angry when his wife or his spouse is is you know transgressed against in a sexual manner. or someone who sexual makes sexual advances towards his his wife or his daughter or his mother. This is this means something is seriously wrong with this person. If they did not become angry from something this became angry so angry he threw the tablets that Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala had gave him. What was he angry for? for the sake of Allah because of because of the worship of other than Allah. Therefore Allah praised his anger in because that is what a believer is. He becomes angry for the anger of Allah becomes pleased with the pleasure of Allah. So this narration means two things. is do not become angry. Meaning, do not put yourself in a situation or on a topic or with a person that will make you angry. When you start to see those road signs that you're going down that direction, you stop way before you you get to the point where you're angry. But if you do become angry that you control yourself means these two things. for and Allah Jesus.