Why the Prophet stopped accepting most gifts

He would take three breaths while he is drinking. So, he would drink and then, you know, pause and drink and pause. So, he wouldn't drink altogether. He would take, drink intermittently, incrementally, he would drink down. He wouldn't you know, chug things. Rather, he would drink them slowly. Here, it's mentioned three times. This isn't, of course, with everything. Perhaps a person is drinking something small or just going to take a sip of something But what the point here is is that he would not drink something altogether. All at once. It's in Muslim the prophet tells us that we should not drink altogether. He says that drinking gulps, drinking, something incrementally is safer, healthier for the body. It is more satisfying etcetera. being that we're discussing this issue. It's mentioned here three times. There's a there's a kind of a trait that people have or accustomed that when a person eats something, they usually eat. and freeze. So, they'll take three dates for instance, right? Or five dates. something of that sort. There's nothing in the sunnah having to do with numbers with regards to eating. Many people think it's a sunnah to eat three dates or five dates or seven dates rather than two or four even numbers. And there's nothing indicating that in the prophet as the scholars have mentioned. Rather, a person can eat as many as they like. What's important is that a person maintain etiquette during eating as he would with anything else. Says.

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Rather, if he dislikes something, he would merely refrain from eating it. And sometimes, he would explain this and express it saying, Meaning that I do not like this. I don't eating it. I don't want to eat it. Right? Or rather than I don't this more I don't desire this. It's a better translation. I don't find myself desiring this dish. This is very important. Food in general is a blessing from Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala. It's very ungrateful for a person too. speak bad about any food that they eat A person has a dish in front of them If they don't it, then just don't eat it. That's all. If you don't it, someone else may like it. It is poor etiquette with Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala to disparage food. Or anything that is disparaging. Right? And taste is is very unique and tailor fitted. Some people like things that others don't. Some people to eat things that others find repulsive and vice versa. Therefore, me not liking something doesn't make it necessarily bad or doesn't make it necessarily distasteful. It just means that it doesn't agree with how I perceive the world. So, it's a very it's a very broad thing and a person should never disparage food. This is poor etiquette with Allah. Ida the.

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Vinegar is the best the best dressing for food or for bread. Now, obviously, vinegar is something that is acceptable in its place. It's not the best dressing a person can have but the reason why he said this is that when he asked for something to dip his bread into, he was told that we don't have anything except for and so he that is the best. This is to make the person who offered it to him feel better. This is to make the person who offered it to him feel better. Not necessarily saying that it is the best out of all the choices that a person could possibly have. Rather he said this as a gesture of goodwill and a kind statement to his wife. Who offered him this. He says.

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Conceal their actions and that's fine. They want to fast and have that fast to be something private between themselves and Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala. They don't want to announce it to everyone. However, if a person invites you to eat and you just say no, no, I don't want anything. No, no. This may be a little bit rude or a person may interpret this incorrectly misinterpret it. Therefore, the prophet would explain why. He would say in Islam, I'm fasting. Meaning, otherwise, I would have accepted your invitation but I'm fasting and that is usually sufficient for most people because most Muslims respect worship. He also encour aged that anyone who is fasting and has been invited to a meal or to eat something. And they wish to continue their fast that they should at least make dua for the person. Should at least make dua for the person that invited them. And if a person is not fasting and they are able to, they should accept invitation. Very important to stand that accepting an invitation, if there is no, if there are no particular circumstances preventing a person from accepting invitation, then they should accept the invitation of anyone who invites them, right? They should they should accept the invitation and honor the invitation of anyone who invites them. Now, there could be a reason why you cannot accept an invitation One of those reasons being that you're in a position of authority and people, if you allow people to, you know, wine and dine you, it will affect the the sincerity of your position, right? But let's say there's a judge and people invite this judge over that happened to have a case that is going to be brought before that judge. Is he to accept that invitation? Of course not. That would be that would be unethical. There are times when a person may reject an invitation or times when a person may reject a gift. That's one example. Another example is that a person is being invited by someone who is reproachful. Menen, someone who is reproachful. What does that mean? Meaning that if they give you something, they're going to keep reminding you about it, right? How do you that thing? I gave you. How do you think, what do you think of it? Do you use it often? What do you think of? Oh, I gave this guy such and such. Remember when I gave, this is called reproachfulness. This is called right? And this is a major sin in Islam. The prophet tells us that three types of people, Allah will not look at them, speak to them, or purify them on the day of resurrection. One of them, the person who reproachful with regards to things that they give others. This is the type of person who falls into this. The prophet would usually accept gifts. Actually, this is one of the traits that is mentioned about him in the previous books, Canaan, Sallallahu And this is what Salman al Pharisee had him with before he accepted Islam. So Salman heard of a prophet that is going to emerge from amongst the palm trees. Regard as a reference to Medina, Yethrib. and Salman who traveled to Yathrib and lived there for a long time before the prophet arrival in anticipation of his arrival. How many tribes were there of the Jewish tribes in Medina? Does anyone know? Bree, that's correct. Three Jewish tribes. Are those Jewish tribes that were there are they native to Medina Budaism usually it came from the Middle East from the Arab Peninsula. Judaism originates from where? Well, if we look back, Musa Alaihi Salam was where? Egypt and then he led his people towards where? Towards Palestine, right? Right? So, that's where the Jews and the prophets of the Jews were. Now, what were these three tribes doing in the Arab Peninsula, living in Medina? What were they doing over there? They were waiting for the next prophet but not just for the next prophet. They knew that the last prophet is going to be from the loins of Ismael. and they were indignated by this. They felt he should be from this hack, from the lineage of his hack. They actually moved there and resided there for decades, maybe even centuries. hoping that if they went there and had a lot of offspring, maybe one of their descendants, one of their children would actually be that prophet. This was their attempt. So, when they arrived at Medina, they started having lots and lots of kids. Hoping that one of their kids would end up being that prophet. So, when the prophet arrived and he was the messenger, they were not very happy about that. Hence, the disputes and the hypocrite and the backstabbing which ensued. From the Jews of Medina towards the prophet and his companions. Now, Salman who heard about this prophet that is going to emerge from amongst the palm trees. That's a reference to Medina which was called at the time because Yethrib was known for its palm trees, alright? And so, Salman took a very long, arduous journey till he finally made it. Into Medina and he was actually living as a servant there. and he heard about the prophet and he knew that one of the traits mentioned in the previous scriptures, the previous revelations of Allah and the the literature of the people of the book that one of the traits of this prophet is that he does not eat anything that is from charity but he does accept and eat from that which is a gift. Oh Salman approached him presented some food to him and said, this is it, this is charity. so the prophet told his companions that were around him to eat it and he did not partake in it. And said the man returned the next day and offered him food, a dish, you know, a meal. But this time, he said, it is a gift. And so the prophet ate it and shared it with his companions. Prophet would accept gifts. Somebody gave him a gift, he would accept it. However, After a while, he stopped accepting gifts except from certain particular people. Why? Because many people knew that one of the Sunan of the prophet Sallallahu Al is that he would do what is called A man that a person does what is that if somebody gives you something, you should give give them something in return. And usually that's something that you give them should be better than what they gave you. This is called and it's a of the prophet Now, being that his way was that he would he was a he was somebody who would you know, he would return the favor if you will He would usually return it with something better and that was actually the way of many of the Arabs at that time. and so, some people would give him gifts hoping that he would give them something more valuable in return, right? and so the prophet received the gift from a man as is mentioned in Bukhari. He was given a gift by a man. And so he Caphael, he gave him a gift in return. But the gift that he gave him in return was not to the expectation of the receiver. And so he became kind of belligerent. He became a little bit rude in his demeanor. And the said, indeed by Allah, I will not accept the gift anymore from anyone except for certain people and so he named them. What does this tell us? This tells us that if you are being given a gift with worldly strings attached. You are not obligated to accept that gift. who are being given a gift with worldly strings attached. You are not obligated to accept that gift. let's say an imam of the Masjid. Everybody wants to give him gifts. Oh, I got this for you, Imam, oh Sheikh, oh Imam. However, this imam is in charge of being fair, and in charge of dealing with issues other than just leading salah. it eh behooves this imam to not accept gifts usually. A judge would not accept gifts usually. Etcetera. Because these gifts are actually incentives. See what happens when you throw money at people. Things usually get bad. They don't get better. Anytime you start to charge things with money, it usually spoils, you know, it poisons the well. Now, for instance, we see politicians who are who whom their campaigns are funded by particular people, right? have donators that will donate huge amounts of money hundreds of thousands, sometimes millions of dollars to a particular candidate's campaign. This doesn't come for free. This is not a free meal. This is not a free lunch. Those donors are expecting something in return. A person has certain amount of money donated to his campaign and then he is actually elected Well, his donors are going to come for their they're going to come to reap the fruits of their donation. If they have a pharmaceutical company, they're going to want legislation passed and pushed that will make things easier for their pharmaceutical company or the meat industry or whatever it is. This is very dangerous because when everything is based on money, we have a big problem because money is going to be leverage that will control people. Prophet strictly prohibited anyone who is working for the state to accept a gift, a gift, quote unquote. Muslim there was a man who was commissioned by the prophet to collect zakah. people that would collect Zakad, the prophet would handpick them and they would go out to the different tribes and the different people and the different homes and the different villages and they would collect the zakah and if it is from the people of the book, they would collect the and One of them came back one day with the zakah that he had collected. Zakah at that time was collected from whatever the person was giving zakat on. So, if it was from harvest, it would be, you know whatever was reaped from that harvest, if it was livestock, it would be, you know, goats and sheep, and camels, and oxen, and so forth, and so he returned to the prophet to deliver this zakah that he had collected to to the treasury. And so he brought whatever the was, and he said, but these things here, these are mine. Somebody gave them to me as a gift. Prophet heard about this and became very upset about it. Said, This is truly a gift for you Then why didn't you wait in your own home for them to bring you this gift? Meaning, the only reason that they are that this person received this gift is why? Because that person is. electing Zakat, right? So, this guy comes every year to collect the zakah. So, we butter him up a little bit. We give him, you know, here's the zakat and by the way, this is a gift for you. are they giving him this gift? Are they giving him this gift because they personally him? If they were giving him this gift because they personally liked him, then why didn't they deliver this gift to his house? Why did they wait for him to come and collect Zachah for them to give him this gift? No. What happens here is corruption seeps into the government agency. Which means that he comes to collect this year and we give him our portion of zakah. And then next and we give him a gift and we give him a gift and then we start looking for payment on that gift, right? So, one year, he'll come and we'll say, you know, I'm a little light, things are tough this year, things are not so easy, and he'll say, you know what, don't worry about it, and only take a portion or not take what is due. It'll start to be soft on the people that gave them these gifts. This is corruption. This is impermissible. A person who is going to be leveraged by a gift, person who is going to be leveraged by a meal or anything else, they are required in Islamic law to turn down this gift, to turn down this meal. Now, that's not all the time. Obviously, the prophet was the judge and the imam and he accepted gifts from people and he accepted and honored people's invitations However, This would be handpicked people that he knew were not going to try to leverage him or did not have any ulterior motives in giving this gift or in giving this feeding this meal, etcetera. This is an important point. And many of our teachers would very much very much discourage us from attending and honoring many invitations that people would give because first of all you are on the receiving end which always already puts you at a disadvantage. Second of all, you are now making yourself just everyone else. People will start to not not hold you high as high at esteem as they would if you were novel. What does that mean? Meaning, if a scholar sits with everyone and jokes with everyone and is always going out with them and doing things that everyone does. His his esteem will go down with people. They can't help it. That's just how human beings are, right? It's very important for a scholar to be in high esteem amongst people. So, that they accept what he has to say, that they accept Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala's words and the prophet words. very rarely are things given without strings attached. This is what is referred to as the free lunch, right? Free lunch. Meaning that usually people, not all people, not all times, but usually, people give gifts or when people invite or when people do these things, they're looking for reciprocity on that gift. There are strings attached. They have a reason, a motive for doing that. It's kind of So, a person has to be very vigilant as to what these motives are. If these motives are to please Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala, if these motives are to for the sake of brotherhood, for the sake of sisterhood, for the sake of community, for the sake of pleasing Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala, that's great. That is that is a those are strings which are attached to the afterlife and that is fine but when the return on that gift is leverage or the return on that gift is favors or the return on that gift is that is where it becomes problematic. So, a person needs to be vigilant of that. Ib He says, for in The prophet.

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Came with us. If you wish that he come with that's fine and if not, he will return. Sometimes, a person invites a another and they want just that person to come. Sometimes, people aren't comfortable with other people coming to their home. They are very selective as to who comes. And if you just show up with someone, most likely, they're not going to say, no, I don't want this guy here. He has to go back, right? this is what is called you are basically you are basically shaming a person into doing something that they don't want to do and this is not permissible in Islam. You are not to put someone into a position where they cannot say no. Or if they do it will be to their detriment. You might as well force them. You might as well compel them to do something. And so, it's important that if we are invited by someone that we are sure as to the confines or the, you know, the expected what the what the limits or the confines of this invitation are. a person invites you and you think that you're going to bring someone else, you should say. is it okay if I bring this person or that person? But you should also read the person that's inviting you. And you should read if this person maybe they want to discuss something personal. Maybe they're inviting you for some reason because they have some business to discuss with you or maybe they're just a very private person. And they don't a lot of people coming over. Whatever it is. People have different reasons and it's their right. I mean it's their home and they can have whomever they choose and their home. So, we should always make sure that we understand the invitation and we understand the extent of that invitation and we should never shame people into doing or accepting something that we know they're uncomfortable with. Right? So, let's say for instance, you know, I invite you to my home. and you know that I'm a very private person and I don't really invite many people to my home and I invite you specifically and then, when I open the door, you come over, I open the door and there you are standing with two or three other guys that I don't know or guys that I hadn't invited. Most likely, I'm I'm going to say, yeah, come in, you know, to everyone because I'm not going to tell people to leave. But that is a position that is not permissible to put a person into. Where they feel shy or ashamed to say no. This is type of compelling which is impermissible in Islam. So, we should be very sensitive as to the as to the expectations of our host. Another thing that is very important when it comes to accepting invitations is that we control our eyes when we go into people's homes. something that a lot of people don't realize or think about. We are to control our eyes when we are in a person's home. What does that mean? When you go into someone's home, the scholars mention that you should only look where the person expects you to look. Things that are appropriate and we're not just speaking about maybe women that are in the house or something that. Just in general, being Snoopy. Looking looking at everything that they have, checking out the different rooms. You know, you walk by an open door, you're peeking inside what's going on over there. People are walking in the background. You're checking them out. This is very bad manners. And Ibn Abbas has mentioned this to his companions. When they went and accepted an invitation of another who had invited Ibn Abbas and he brought some of his students with him. And when they enter the home they were very very liberal with their sight and very liberal with their eyes and so even I best rebuke them for this and he mentions the verse in which Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala says that Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala sees and knows the treachery of the eyes and what the hearts conceal and so he considered treachery of the eyes to be that a person look where they where it is inappropriate for them to look. Another thing that Many people do and they're unaware of is that when they attend or they honor an invitation When you go to your host your host brings you into their home or wherever it is that your host has invited you to. It's very important to take specific direction from your host. Very important to take specific direction from your host So, for instance, your host brings you to his home and there's a little chair here and a nice, big, comfortable chair over there, right? And your host tells you to sit in the big, comfortable chair. Many people say, no, no, no, I'm good. I'll sit in this little chair. I'll sit on this little stool over here to be humble. That is not good at it. You sit where your host tells you to sit, right? Maybe your host wants you to sit there because your back is to a hallway that is used and there are people that need to get by without being seen. Maybe your host wants you to sit there because this chair is wet. Maybe your host wants you to sit there because he wants to honor his guest and you need to allow him to do that, right? We are encouraged by Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala to honor our guests. whoever believes in Allah in the last day, then he is to honor his guest And as a guest, you are to allow your host to honor you, right? If he cooks something, you eat it. If he presents something to you, you accept it. If he tells you to sit somewhere, you sit that place. This is to the point that even scholars of amongst the companions would not lead salah in their host homes. That is that the prophet he had mentioned that he says Muslim.

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Another person's home. So, let's say a person is a scholar, he comes over to just a regular person's house. Naturally, if we were outside of this person's home, who would lead salah? Obviously, the scholar, the person who is more versed in salah in Quran. However, the of the prophet is that the person who owns the home, the host, he is the person that should lead salah. And the person who attends, the guests, no matter who he is, should not lead that person in salah, unless that person insists or gives him permission. and another thing that the prophet said, he said and no man is to sit on the man, another man's furniture without his permission, without his consent, right? So, Well, you go over to someone's house, your host tells you to sit here, please, or sit over here. Al Adep, True etiquette is to be it's the peace subordinate in that position. To be obedient. Whatever your host tells you, that's what you do. Oftentimes, we will go over to people's homes and we'll see that they're bringing out trays of food for instance and we want to jump up and we want to help them again. And they say, no, sit down, please. I'll take care of it. No, no, I got it, I'll take care of it, you know. Before you know it, the guests are doing the dishes and all kinds of stuff. This is impermissible. This is wrong. A person should list unto his host you're not a guest at your son's home. Speaking about being a guest at a host home You invite me to your house, right? You're going to lead salah and I'm going to do whatever you tell me to do. Sit here, I sit here, wash your hands here, I'm going to wash my hands here and anytime I pick up that, you know, the party's over and it's time to go home, I'm going to take myself home, I'm not going to stay past that. If a father goes over to a son's house, this is not a guest. This is family member. right? If you're sitting in your host's home and he says, please sit down, you know, don't don't touch anything or picking up the dishes, you know? There, your host is commanded by Allah to honor his guest. And the guest needs to allow the host to honor him. Correct? He can't be stubborn and insist that you're going to run another man's home in his home. It's very disrespectful actually. make sure that you are obedient, you are subordinate, you're in another man's home, you're in another man's castle. Whatever he tells you to do, you do. that is enough for tonight.